Some Fitness Mindset and Health Coaching Advice
Want some health coach advice? Well there’s something I coach on almost every day that doesn’t get nearly enough attention in the fitness and wellness world and yet it has the power to shift everything about your health journey.
It’s not a new supplement. It’s not your macros. It’s not even your workout plan.
It’s the way you speak to yourself.
The things you say in your head. The little jokes you make under your breath. The offhand comments that seem harmless, but actually reinforce a deeper belief about who you are.
“It’s Just a Joke” Or Is It???
Most of us, especially those of us who are queer, BIPOC, or women navigating spaces that weren’t built for us, learned early on that humor could be a form of self-protection. We make the joke first so no one else has the chance to. We downplay our discomfort before anyone else can point it out. It’s armor.
But here’s the truth:
Your brain doesn’t know it’s a joke. Your body doesn’t register sarcasm.
When you say,
- “I’m just lazy.”
- “I’ll never be consistent.”
- “No one wants to see this body in a gym.”
Even playfully… your nervous system stores that as information. It becomes part of your identity. It shapes your behavior. And it creates resistance every time you try to change.
Over time, those “jokes” turn into internal truths. They become a quiet voice that shows up anytime you try to move forward, whispering, “Why bother? You always mess it up.”
The Identity Loop
Here’s how this works on a deeper level:
- What you say consistently becomes what you believe.
- What you believe becomes what you embody.
- What you embody shapes how you act.
If you constantly label yourself as inconsistent, your choices start to reflect that belief, even if deep down, you want to be someone who follows through. Your mindset literally begins to limit your momentum.
This is one of the most common patterns I see in clients who feel stuck in “start and stop” mode. It’s not that they don’t want change. It’s that they’re stuck in an identity loop that says change isn’t for them. And they don’t even realize they’ve been reinforcing that narrative for years.
You Can’t Shame Yourself Into Healing
Another pattern I see? Trying to use shame as motivation.
- Working out to punish yourself for what you ate.
- Restricting food out of fear instead of nourishment.
- Speaking to your body like it’s broken or the enemy.
Let me say this clearly: you cannot shame yourself into long-term healing. That approach doesn’t lead to transformation, it leads to burnout, guilt, and an even more fractured relationship with your body.
Your body is not the problem. It’s not something to fix. It’s something to care for, to partner with, to respect. Especially if you’ve been through trauma, oppression, or chronic stress, your body has done everything it can to survive. And it deserves your compassion.
So What Can You Do?
You don’t need to force toxic positivity. You don’t need to lie to yourself.
Start neutral.
Instead of saying “I love my body,” if that doesn’t feel true yet, try:
- “I’m learning to treat myself better.”
- “I’m becoming someone who honors her needs.”
- “I’m working on showing up consistently.”
Even a small shift like this makes a difference. Your nervous system will begin to trust that change is possible. And over time, that becomes your new identity, one rooted in growth, not guilt.
Ask Yourself This:
Take a moment to journal on this prompt:
“What’s a belief I carry about myself that I’ve never questioned? And where did it come from?”
We’re not doing this to shame ourselves. We’re doing this to get curious and curiosity is what opens the door to real change.
Reclaim Your Voice
A lot of our negative self-talk? It didn’t even start with us. It came from old experiences with a parent, a bully, a system that made you feel unworthy. And if you’re carrying those voices around, it’s time to ask:
“Is this actually mine?”
You are not lazy. You are not broken. You are not behind.
You’re someone who’s working through layers. Someone who’s trying. Someone who deserves to be spoken to with care.
And that starts with you.
You are worthy of a mindset that supports your healing. You are worth rooting for!
If you’re ready to take the next step in your fitness and health journey, but you want a coach who understands the layers, the real-life struggles, and the need for a holistic approach… I’d love to work with you as your health coach and/or fitness trainer.
You can connect with me anytime and book a FREE breakthrough session!
Let’s rewrite the story together.
